It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
