Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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