nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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