He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
