i think i have herpe
just one?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
