dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
