Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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