K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
