My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
