Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
