have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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