playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
should my penis look like a turkey
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
