the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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