forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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