you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We don't watch enough power rangers
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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