so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
