i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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