I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
