is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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