hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
