if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am available for nakedness
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
