You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
