What a fucking waste of an outfit
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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