She's JV to your varsity
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize