Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
