he shaved USA in his pubs
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
