Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what day is it and did you see me today?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
