I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
