I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
