I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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