East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
