respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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