i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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