he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
