They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
