Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
