um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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