I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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