Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize