I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize