I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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