I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
