You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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