College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
