if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
