Midget sex pt 2 tonight
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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