i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
