Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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