u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
