Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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