Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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