she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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