just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
