Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
