you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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