dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hippo gnu deer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am naked and annoyed.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
