Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
