I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My ass is underappreciated
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
