Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
