and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
