so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
