is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
