I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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