Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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