my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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