they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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