I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
